


Wrong Side of Reality

by wildfrancium



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Disabled Character, Friends to Lovers, Injury, Injury Recovery, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Serious Injuries, So much angst, Suicidal Thoughts, established bitty and jack, eventual bitty and kent, i know nothing about hockey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-10-24 22:25:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10751022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildfrancium/pseuds/wildfrancium
Summary: After a freak accident leaves Kent Parson in a wheelchair, he winds up in Boston to hopefully further his recovery. Eric Bittle is his physical therapist, who wants to do what he can to make Kent feel like he's can be okay again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I've only recently read Check Please, so I'm still wading through extra content and such. I am trying to keep this as in character as I can even though these characters are fairly new to me! I hope people enjoy this fic because I'm really excited to write it! Especially because I love Parse. Enjoy!

The headlines, the news reports, it was all burned into Bitty’s mind. A freak accident that had never been seen before. It was terrifying. It was a miracle he wasn’t _dead._

It was broadcast for weeks, the same sad news over and over and over until Bitty knew it was a nightmare none of them would wake up from.

Jack had, he hadn’t been able to put what he felt into words for months. He tried to process it all. Bitty tried his best to help, but the shock had struck Jack like lightening. He’d been watching the game live. Watched as Kent Parson was hit and tackled to the ground in a brawl over a recent goal. Apparently, the sound was heard throughout the stadium, but it wasn’t heard on TV.

But the screaming was. It was high and shrill, like he was _dying_. The refs cleared the players and there was Kent Parson, on the ground, screaming, and not moving.

That’s when Bitty’s coworkers tuned in. Someone switched channels so fast to watch the nightmare unfold.

The ice was cleared and even the commentators struggled to put together what was happening. Everyone kept saying they heard some kind of snap and that maybe Kent Parson had broken his arm or leg.

But it was obvious it was more serious than that.

When he finally stopped screaming, Bitty thought he’d get up or they’d help him off the ice. But they weren’t moving him. That’s when Jack’s panicked texts started blowing up Bitty’s phone. Jumbles of incoherent words strung together in attempt to process what he was looking at.

Paramedics arrived. Bitty and his coworkers were glued to the TV even though they’d closed twenty minutes ago. They still weren’t moving him off the ice. The game was called. Aces forfeit in their second playoff game. The stadium started to force people out.

The cameras were still focused on Kent Parson.

Players from both teams were being interviewed. All of them were clearly shaken. No one quite sure what had happened. The Aces didn’t want to be kept in their locker room, but the coach explained that he didn’t want anyone moving until they knew what happened.

At the forty minute mark, it was being called a freak accident.

At forty-five minutes, they finally strapped Kent Parson to a stretcher and took him off the ice.

At an hour, it went to the coaches and they said they’d been told something was definitely broken, but they didn’t know the extent of the injuries. Their faces said it all though. Bitty felt bile claw at his throat as he watched the coaches struggle to give answers. The looks on the Aces’ faces. Most of them looked like they were in states of shock.

Bitty rushed home, glued to sports radio, but hearing no new information. Jack had gone quiet at that point. Bitty found him sitting quietly on the couch with ESPN on. It was replying images from earlier.

Jack’s eyes were red and he was visibly trembling. Bitty sat next to him, hugging him tight and telling him it was going to be okay. Jack said nothing the rest of the night.

Neither of them slept and in the morning, it was all over the news.

Kent Parson had broken two vertebrae in his lower back. Returning to hockey was questionable.

 

~ 6 months later ~

 

“Hi, I’m Eric Bittle and I’ll be your lead physical therapist for the next six months,” Bitty introduced himself, feeling awkward since he and Kent Parson knew each other.

Kent said nothing.

He looked the same. Blond hair pushed under a snap back, cowlick as defiant as ever. Slim t-shirt and sweats. Expensive gym shoes, a watch Bitty had never seen him without, but his face said it all. Dull grey eyes. Blank expression. His slumped shoulders spoke of defeat.

“I’ve been sent all your information from doctors, they are hoping time here can improve the progress you’ve made,” Bitty said choosing his words carefully. Kent was staying in the inpatient housing. He was under the care of a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and Bitty, a physical therapist.

The Boston Recovery Center dealt with many cases similar to Kent’s. Whether they were cases of famous athletes or just regular people who’d been through severe physical trauma.

Bitty’s department was contacted by Kent’s primary doctor. They’d seen slight improvement, but Kent was so shut down that they were afraid it was going to worsen his health. An inpatient treatment center seemed like the best option with tons of care for all aspects of the accident.

There was a lot of debate about who would be the lead physical therapist for Kent Parson, and Bitty was surprised when he was offered the position. They thought Bitty’s knowledge of hockey and versatile therapy skills would benefit Kent the most. He’d also meet with Kent’s other doctors at the center to discuss how they could continue to help Kent.

When Bitty had told Jack, Jack looked almost relieved. He’d hugged Bitty tight and said nothing, but he slept easier that night, Bitty could tell.

“Can you tell me some of the symptoms you’re experiencing? Such as pain or discomfort?”

Kent looked up at him. Eyes so hollow Bitty felt like he’d be swallowed by them.

“It feels like there’s a knife wedged in my spine that won’t kill me already,” he said flatly. Surgery had repaired his back, but Kent was left with little to no feeling in his left leg and minimal feeling in his right. Doctors said most feeling should return with time.

“Is it only a stabbing pain or is it sometimes burning?” Bitty asked. Kent nodded. “Is it when you are sitting or laying down?”

Kent’s expression went from blank to clearly uncomfortable. Bitty rolled his stool closer, so that they were eye to eye.

“This is a safe space, hun,” Bitty said softly. They’d mostly be working in one of the private examining rooms. “I need to know so I can help.”

“I know!” Kent snapped, looking like he wanted to flee. His hands were gripping the arms on the wheelchair so tight that his knuckles were white. Doctors had warned Bitty of frequent panic attacks.

He gave Kent a moment to breathe.

“Can I take your shoes off?” Bitty asked. Kent said nothing. His file said that he was able to lift at the hip, but Bitty didn’t want to ask and risk pushing him into a panic attack.

So, he lifted Kent’s left leg into his lap and unlaced his shoe. Kent made a strangled noise and shut his eyes, body still tense and distressed.

He pulled Kent’s shoe and sock off and then lightly pinched his toes and ran his thumb up his arch. Nothing.

Hearing about it was one thing, but sitting there and seeing how broken Kent was made a lump form in Bitty’s throat.

He repeated the same thing with the right foot. Still nothing.

Kent was sitting with his hands pressed to his eyes and his head tilted back. His breathing was labored, but even.

“Can I move you to the table?” Bitty asked. “There’s only a few more things I want to check and then we can be done for the day,” he added.

Finally, Kent nodded. Bitty secured a safety belt around him middle, ignoring that way Kent sagged, once again looking defeated.

“I can pull you up, but you can brace yourself on my shoulders.” Bitty was used to helping lift people bigger than him, not that Kent was much bigger. Bitty practiced at home on Jack.

He pulled Kent to his feet, Kent clutching at Bitty’s shoulders, and then rotated him so he could sit on the table.

“Do you need help getting on your stomach?” Bitty asked and waited for Kent to nod slowly. Bitty moved him, and when he was comfortable, Bitty lifted his shirt.

The scar was jarring even though it was healed. A nice five inch white line almost down to his tailbone. “Tell me if this hurts. I’m going to gently touch you,” Bitty said grabbing lotion.

He gently pressed the muscles on either side of the scar. They were tight. Bunched and knotted under Bitty’s fingers.

“The pain is mostly in my spine and hips. There are… spots with no sensation still,” Kent whispered as Bitty moved closer to his spine.

“Was there pain before I started touching you?”

“Yeah.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10?”

“It’s always at a four at the least,” Kent said. “Maybe a three right when the pain killers kick in.”

Kent let out a strangled noise and his whole body recoiled when Bitty hit a certain spot.

“Don’t,” Kent sobbed even though Bitty had already removed his hands. He fixed Kent’s shirt.

“Is the pain lingering or is it fading?” Bitty asked.

“Fading,” Kent whispered.

“What number was that?”

“Eight.”

“Let me know when I can help you sit you up,” Bitty said, rubbing Kent’s shoulder as his body shook.

Almost five minutes later, Kent gave Bitty the okay.

“Do you feel okay to lie on your back or does that hurt?” Bitty asked.

“It’s okay sometimes,” Kent said staring at his lap, eyes wet. He handed Bitty his snap back and then lay back.

“Good?” Bitty asked. He nodded.

Bitty moved his legs a bit and took some measurements and notes. Moving Kent’s hips was too painful, so Bitty ended their session. He helped Kent back into his wheelchair and put his socks and shoes on for him.

“Kent?” Bitty said looking up at him. “I don’t know how many people you know in the area, but me and Jack are always here as friends. We can hang out or whatever if you need that while you’re here. I don’t,” Bitty paused, wanting to choose his words carefully once again. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through this alone. We’ve only met a few times, but my home is always open. Even if you don’t want to see Jack.”

Their past had been cleared up a few years ago and Jack and Kent spoke occasionally as friends once again, but both of them had agreed that it might not be best for Kent to be around pro hockey unless he wanted to be. And even then…

Kent looked at Bitty for a moment before giving him a small nod.

“Okay.”

 

Jack was waiting for Bitty when he returned. Bitty could tell his was anxious and slid into his arms giving him a reassuring smile. He kissed Jack lightly and then rested his head against Jack’s chest.

Jack relaxed in Bitty’s hold.

“I can’t be sure, but I think he’ll be okay. If he wants to be though,” Bitty said without getting into specifics. Jack nodded.

“Did you tell him we are here for him?” Jack asked. Bitty looked up into his worried blue eyes and gave him a small smile.

“Yes, I did honey, and he didn’t seem to hate the idea. So, we’ll see.”

“Okay,” Jack said with a sigh.

“How did your appointment go?” Bitty asked, sliding out of Jack’s arms and heading to the fridge.

“Good. We talked about him coming to Boston,” Jack said as Bitty pulled out leftovers to heat up. Jack had started seeing a therapist after Parse was injured. “I just. I really want to be there for him as a friend, but we uh talked about how that might be hard for him.”

Bitty nodded along. Jack sat at the island, across from Bitty, and ran his hands through his hair.

“What’s worrying you, baby?” Bitty asked between bites of lasagna.

“I just can’t stop thinking about how fast a dream can end,” Jack said quietly. Bitty thought about holding Kent’s numb feet.

“I know, honey,” Bitty sighed. “But it’s not something that happens every day. Remember that,” he insisted. Jack nodded.

“You got three orders for tomorrow,” Jack said changing the subject. “I made sure we had all the ingredients when I got home.”

Bitty brightened. His online bakery business was building. He liked to think one day he’d have a nice, real, bakery to work in, but his kitchen worked for now.

“Lord, three for tomorrow?” Bitty whistled. He was tired from a full day of work, but never too tired to bake.

“You’re happy,” Jack said with a grin. Bitty smiled back.

“What are you going to do while I bake?” Bitty asked, putting his dishes in the dish washer and opening his laptop to check the bakery website.

“I just kind of want to sit here with you,” Jack said. Bitty looked over his shoulder and smiled at him. He pulled up the orders and went to the pantry.

“Well then, you can choose the music, but make it good,” Bitty said pulling supplies out. As he mentally ran through everything he needed, he figured he’d make something to bring to Kent too. A few years ago, he’d mentioned that he really liked Bitty’s black raspberry pie.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll with this story, so here's another chapter! I hope you enjoy!

After a week of careful poking and prodding, Bitty decided the best course of action would be the therapy pool. Or at least trying the therapy pool.

Kent just shrugged at Bitty’s suggestions.

“Do you want me to get a nurse to help you change or do you want me to help you?” Bitty asked. Kent immediately looked uncomfortable and squirmed in his seat. He’d already heard all about the fuss Kent put up when he needed help dressing. Bitty understood and tried to be as sympathetic as possible, but Kent needed to change and tell Bitty what he was most comfortable with.

“It’ll be quick,” Bitty said. “You can stand while I fix your swim trunks.”

Kent could stand by himself if he was pulled to his feet, but he was unable to bend his knees yet. It was a confusing situation that Bitty had never worked with. He wasn’t quite paralyzed. There was just a lot of nerve damage and it was as if he had to relearn how to use his legs.

Kent continued to squirm in his chair, ears red.

“How about I get the nurse that helps you in the morning and night? Would that make it easier?”

“No,” Kent snapped. Bitty sat down on the stool and waited. Bitty talked to Kent’s therapist daily, but she hadn’t been able to get Kent to open up yet.

“Then please let me help you. I’ll do it fast I promise,” Bitty said wishing he had more to offer Kent. Kent leaned back, burying his face in his hands. “Kent, honey,” Bitty said softer.

“Okay,” Kent said sounding like he was going to choke on the word. Bitty wrapped the safety belt around Kent before taking off his shoes and socks.

“When I pull you up, I want you to hold onto the barre, okay?” Bitty asked moving Kent’s wheelchair in front of the barre on the wall. He pulled Kent up and Kent held onto the barre. Bitty gently pulled Kent’s sweats and underwear down. He tried not to tear up when he heard Kent quietly try to stifle a sob.

“Okay, I’m going to help you sit back down,” Bitty said, moving Kent back to his wheelchair so he could switch his clothes. “And up again,” Bitty said, pulling Kent up and when he was stable, Bitty pulled his swim trunks up. “There.”

Kent sagged into the wheelchair, head hanging low, hands limp in his lap. “It’s so tiring,” he said softly.

“We can work on it,” Bitty offered. Kent snorted.

“Yeah, Bitty teaches Parse how to put fucking pants on. Sounds fucking great,” Kent said sarcastically with a laugh that came out more as a sob.

Bitty didn’t respond. He just folded Kent’s clothes and gave him a moment to calm down.

“Are you ready to go to the pool?” Bitty asked. Kent shrugged, so Bitty opened the door and wheeled Kent out.

 

The therapy pool was empty when they arrived, but there was a senior citizen class in an hour. Bitty handed Kent a life jacket and Kent pulled off his shirt before buckling it around him. Bitty didn’t comment on how he liked that the blue in the life jacket turned Kent’s eyes from grey to teal.

After lowering Kent into the water, Bitty stood in the waist deep water with Kent floating on his back.

“How does this feel?” Bitty asked.

“Good,” Kent said staring up at the ceiling. Bitty started to stretch Kent out, bending his limbs as much as he could without causing more pain. The water seemed to help.

“Do you know French?” Bitty asked, tired of the silence.

“What? Yeah, I know French. I moved to Quebec City when I was eight,” Kent said. Bitty couldn’t remember if he knew that. He’d read a lot about Kent Parson over the years and Jack had told him some stories. “We had this joke in the locker room when I was in the QMJ where, if someone was shit on the ice, we’d call them Bonhomme which is this like snowman guy from the Winter Carnaval in Quebec City. Whoever was Bonhomme hated it,” Kent said with a laugh. Jack had never told Bitty that one.

Things shifted back into silence as Bitty worked. He glanced at Kent every so often to find him always staring at the ceiling with an unreadable expression.

“Does your mom still live in Quebec?” Bitty asked, remembering that Kent’s parents were divorced. Jack said his dad was never really in the picture.

“Yeah, she’s a teacher. A science teacher.”

“What about your sister?” Bitty asked.

“She’s in Montreal. She works at a bank.”

Bitty wanted to ask if they’d been to see him, but he didn’t want to push it. But it was as if Kent read his mind.

“I’ve been avoiding them,” Kent said in a small voice. “I ignore a lot of their calls and when I answer I say I’m fine or I’m busy. They’re both terrified of flying or they would have come immediately. My mother said she’d drive all the way to Vegas and I… I begged her not to,” Kent sniffed, moving a hand up to cover his eyes. “I can’t stand the thought of them seeing me like this,” Kent cried. “I want to sink to the bottom of the pool and come up when everything is back to normal.”

Bitty moved so that he could cradle Kent’s head in one of his hands.

“You should let them come see you, honey,” Bitty said pushing Kent’s wet hair away from his face.

“I can’t,” he whispered.

“Do you want to be done for today?” Bitty asked. They’d been going for about forty-five minutes and he was pretty sure Kent would want to leave before the old people started showing up.

Kent nodded.

 

When they get out of the pool and back in the room, it was awhile before Kent allowed Bitty to help him change.

“In the pool, I want to work on you standing on one foot and shifting between left and right,” Bitty said to the clearly worn out Kent. “And we will work up to knee bends, but I think the water should help you stay stable and take pressure off your back and hips. How does everything feel now?”

“Just tired. The pain is the same though,” Kent said and Bitty made a note.

“Depending on how that goes, the best course of action would probably be to move to legs braces to work on exercises out of the water.”

Kent made a strangled noise when Bitty said leg braces. He’d expected it.

“It’s going to help, Kent. I know it will, but you have to be willing to work too.”

“I just hate it!” he snapped. “I hate it! I hate it! I hate everything!” he screamed, rocking violently in his wheelchair and pulling at the arm rests.

It hurt Bitty’s heart to watch Kent be so distraught.

“How about I come with you to your room? I am done here for the day,” Bitty offered. Kent sat breathing hard with his head in his hands. “We can order food and hang out.”

“Don’t you wanna go home to Jack?” Kent muttered sadly.

“I want to hang out with you too.”

“Why because I’m so fucking pathetic?” Kent laughed sadly. Bitty felt anger flare up in him.

“I don’t think you’re pathetic and I’m not doing this because I feel sorry for you, Kent Parson! I’m doing this because I am your friend. Having friends makes everything easier,” Bitty said, trying to keep his emotions in check. But he didn’t know how else to stress his point.

Kent just looked at Bitty, expression raw with emotion. There was so much pain, and not the physical kind.

“Let’s go to your room,” Bitty said, calmer. Kent nodded.

 

The inpatient housing was a lot less “hospital” and more “nice hotel” looking. Kent’s room was spacious. There was a small kitchenette when you walked in the door with lowered counters and appliances. There was a double bed in the middle of the room with grab bars framing it. There was a large dresser with a large TV on it and next to it was a desk. There was also a small, two person couch that Bitty took a seat on.

“If you need help, just ask,” Bitty said as he pulled out his phone to tell Jack he was spending time with Kent. Kent disappeared into the bathroom. Jack was pleased to hear that.

“Can you?” Kent asked when he returned, making Bitty look up. Kent gestured to the bed.

“Yeah, I can help you,” Bitty said, setting down his phone and pulling back the covers on the bed. “Uh Kent? What am I looking at?” Bitty asked. There was a very large, and by very large Bitty means huge, stuffed grilled cheese sitting in the middle of the bed.

“I-that’s-I-Swoops got it for me as a joke,” Kent finally stammered. Bitty gave him a smug grin. Kent’s ears were red.

“Is that your favorite food, Kenny?” Bitty chirped. Kent narrowed his eyes at Bitty.

“Just put me on the bed, Bittle,” Kent muttered, still blushing. Bitty helped him onto the bed.

“Do you need me to tuck you in with Mr. Grilled Cheese?” Bitty chirped. Kent threw the stuffed animal into Bitty’s face. Bitty threw it at Kent’s head in retaliation with a laugh.

Kent’s earnest laugh lifted Bitty’s spirits. It was the first time he’d seen Kent genuinely smile since arriving and it was, in short, a relief to finally see. To know that he could still be happy.

“Do you wanna order some food? Or do you have food?” Bitty asked. “Or-“

“If you say something about the goddamn grilled cheese again I’m going to run you over,” Kent cut in. Bitty stuck his tongue out at Kent.

“Seriously. I need food and you should probably eat too,” Bitty said pulling out his phone again. “There’s good Thai that delivers and it’s like right around the corner, so the wait will be short.”

“Okay,” Kent said and Bitty put their orders in.

Half an hour later, they were eating and watching America’s Funniest Home Videos reruns. Bitty was stretched out on the small couch, half focused on the TV, but mostly scrolling through Twitter. He clicked over to Kent’s account, which had been silent since the accident in April. He’d never been very active on it, but seeing it now, with the last tweet being LET’S WIN GAME 2; it hurt in a way Bitty couldn’t describe. Because Kent wasn’t dead or anything, so everyone should be glad. But in a way, part of Kent had died that night. Bitty didn’t have to ask him to know that much.

Bitty had sat there with Jack sobbing in his arms rambling about the QMJ days and how none of this was supposed to happen. Sure, reporters had talked about how Kent had had a “long run” since he was drafted so young. But that didn’t mean it was fair that it was all taken away from him.

“What are you reading?” Kent asked, snapping Bitty from his thoughts.

“Oh just on Twitter and zoning out,” Bitty said, setting his phone down.

“Oh,” Kent echoed. He took his hat off and Bitty watched him run a hand through his hair before setting the snapback back into place. “Can I take a picture of you?” he asked after a beat. “Just to show my mom that I’m not spending all my time completely alone?” he added in a low voice.

Bitty grinned. “Sure, hun.”

Kent tossed the grilled cheese at him. “You have to hold that though,” he said, his resident smug smile tugging at his lips. Bitty made a big deal of rolling his eyes, but he was happy to do it.

After that Kent decided he was tired and ready to sleep, so Bitty bid him goodnight and headed home. Jack was waiting to hear the rundown of Bitty’s day.

“He told me about Bonhomme,” Bitty said. Jack laughed.

“I’d forgotten about that. There was even some stupid song we’d sing too,” Jack explained stretching out on the bed as Bitty changed from his work clothes.

“You guys sound like a bunch of weirdos,” Bitty laughed.

“Hey,” Jack said faking hurt. Bitty went over to kiss him instead of responding.

“How was your day?” Bitty asked, running his fingers through Jack’s hair, pressing their noses together.

“Good. You ready for open skate on Saturday?”

“As always,” Bitty told him, kissing his lips again and then standing up. “I’m going to see if Kent wants to hang out too on the weekend. After skating,” Bitty said. “I don’t know what he did last weekend, but lord, I’d hate to spend all my day in that room all bored and brooding.”

“Tell him our apartment is always open and there’s plenty of room for a wheelchair. I’ll even get those bars for the bathroom if we need too,” Jack reminded Bitty as he followed him into the living room. Jack had rearranged their living room to make it more wheelchair friendly.

“I know, I know, Jack,” Bitty laughed, sitting on the couch and tucking his toes under Jack’s thigh as Jack turned on the History channel.

“I just feel like, in a weird way, it’s a second chance at being friends again?” he said leaning back into the couch.

“I know, honey,” Bitty said tugging the throw blanket over them.

“I mean there was so much shit in our twenties and so much lost time. When things were finally better, I didn’t know how to pursue a friendship with him. We were both so busy that casual conversation was what worked.”

Before Kent arrived in Boston, Bitty had helped Jack reach out via text to Kent post-accident. Conversation had been light and gone nowhere, but both of them were kind of expecting that.

“But now he’s right here and I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t take the opportunity?” Jack said with a sigh.

“I know, honey, and we just have to give it time. Him wanting to hang out tonight was a good step forward especially since he seems to be closing himself off from everyone.”

“It’s good you’re there for him, Bits,” Jack said with a small smile. “You always know how to bring out the sunshine on a dark day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Bonhomme](https://carnaval.qc.ca/carnaval/who-is-bonhomme-carnaval)  
> [Grilled Cheese Plush](http://www.squishable.com/pc/opensquish_grilled_cheese_31427/comfort_food/Comfort+Food+Grilled+Cheese) hi this is always going to remind me of parse now and please note how big it is   
> [tumblr](http://lexatargaryen.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

Kent’s pain was… something else. They’d texted throughout the day, Kent telling Bitty that he was in a lot of pain, but said he’d still like Bitty to come over.

Bitty arrived in the late afternoon and quietly let himself into Kent’s room. All the lights were off, but the TV was on and muted. Kent was curled into the fetal position in the center of his bed, with an arm wrapped around his head.

“Kent, honey. It’s me,” Bitty whispered, sitting on the side of the bed. He was afraid to touch Kent.

“Hey,” Kent rasped, voice rough and weak.

“How are things right now?” Bitty asked, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Eight,” Kent whispered. “I just took more, but sometimes it’s just like this.”

Bitty knew that Kent was trying his best to stay away from stronger pain killers because the thought of getting addicted to them terrified the shit out of him. All pills scared him.

“I can heat up some of those pack things if you think that might help,” Bitty offered. “Or I can rub your back. Not the part that hurts though obviously.”

“I’ll try the heat,” Kent mumbled. He moved his arm to look at Bitty. His hair was sweaty, his eyes were bloodshot, and his cheeks were damp from tears. Without thinking, Bitty reached out and pushed Kent’s hair off his forehead.

“I’ll do that,” Bitty said soothingly. Kent nodded.

A few minutes later, Bitty helped Kent onto his stomach and then placed the hot gel packs on his lower back. He sat by Kent’s head carding his fingers through Kent’s hair as he cried softly.

Kent drifted in and out of sleep for the next hour, so Bitty flipped through the channels while texting. Word had gotten out the Kent Parson was recovering in Boston, so most of Bitty’s friends asked if he knew anything about it. He’d told those that mattered that he was working with Kent.

“Mmmfeelingbetter,” Kent slurred with a yawn, pushing himself up a little. Bitty smiled.

“Want to eat something? Or watch something?” Bitty asked, putting his phone away.

“Just some water and then we can watch something,” Kent said rolling over gingerly. Bitty helped him sit up and handed him the water. “Oh, High School Musical is on,” Kent said leaning to peer around Bitty at the TV.

“Do you want to watch it?” Bitty asked.

“I don’t care. Zefron was hotter in the second one,” Kent told Bitty. Bitty looked at the TV. It was at the beginning where Gabriella and Troy first met.

“This was so popular when I was in middle school,” Bitty said helping Kent find a comfortable position before turning the sound up. Kent winced.

“What?” Bitty asked suddenly concerned.

“No, it’s just, this came out when I was in high school. You are a _child_ ,” Kent whined. Bitty stood with his hands on his hips.

“Kent Parson, I am a twenty-eight year old man!”

Kent snickered before groaning and curling in on himself. “That hurt for real,” he muttered.

Bitty went over to the couch and took a seat. “Were you like into it?” he asked. “High School Musical I mean.”

“Everyone was into it,” Kent told Bitty. “But my sister really likes musicals and she really likes this one called Newsies and she _had_ to see High School Musical because it was the same choreographer. The dancing in Newsies was way better,” he added after a moment. Bitty had never seen Newsies. “They also used to play this shit dub on TV too. God, it was so fucking bad like everyone sang the songs in the halls.”

Bitty smiled. “Why don’t you have an accent like Jack?” Bitty asked. Kent grumbled something and then turned to look over at Bitty.

“We were doing these interviews with American press and someone said I sounded like Celine Dion, so I got rid of my accent as fast as possible. Are you laughing at me?”

“Of course not, Kenny,” Bitty said trying to keep a straight face. Kent narrowed his eyes at him, before putting his head back down. Kent grumbled something more that Bitty couldn’t hear. “Did you speak French before moving to Quebec?”

“Yeah. My mom grew up in Quebec City and she’s uh, she’s kind of like one of those snobby people who hates speaking English. She always complains on the phone when I don’t answer in French.”

“But you lived in New York for a while?”

“Uh yeah. My grandma was from this tiny town in upstate New York called Ogdensburg. She had a house on the St. Lawrence River and everything, but met my grandpa in Montreal and they lived in Quebec until her Alzheimer’s got real bad. So, my grandpa took her back to where she lived when she was little hoping it’d at least bring back memories of when she was little.”

“Did it?” Bitty asked quietly.

“Yeah kind of. My grandpa said every once in a while she’d talk to him like he was her dad and she was a kid again,” Kent said softly. Bitty hadn’t ever known anyone personally with Alzheimer’s.

“So then how did you end up in New York?” Bitty asked.

“Oh uh well things didn’t work out with my birth dad and my mom was pregnant and my sister, Liza, was two, so my mom moved in with my grandparents.” Kent paused. “And then my mom remarried and we went back to Quebec City, but uh the guy, my stepdad, he’s, I don’t know, weird I guess?” Kent explained. “He likes to pick fights with me. But I guess, my mom is kind of different too but in a different way than Pascal. Me and Liza, we think she has Asperger’s, but she gets mad when we bring it up. But like my stepdad and I were never on the same page. I wanted to be on the ice all day and he thinks sports, especially contact sports, are stupid.”

It was a lot to process, but Bitty was glad Kent felt like sharing any of it.

“Sorry, for like going on and on,” Kent said, looking up at Bitty again. “I guess with nothing to do I suddenly feel the need to share my life story,” he said with a small laugh.

“It’s okay, honey. I like hearing about it all.”

“What’s your family like?” Kent asked. Bitty laughed.

“Large and loud. I’m the only one who’s gone this far North,” Bitty said before slipping into a brief 101 about his mom and Coach, his grandmas, and a brief run through of all the family members he could think of off the top of his head.

“What’d they do when you, you know, came out?” Kent asked. Bitty snorted.

“It was awkward for a long time and it’s still super awkward with my extended family. All they really know are stereotypes and they do this thing where instead of saying gay, they kind of just nod and raise their eyebrows until I understand that they just don’t want to say the word gay.”

Kent snorted.

“My parents though, it was probably strained for the first year after I came out. It’s better though. A lot better. I put a lot of effort into showing them that I was the same person even though I was gay. But now they keep a small pride magnet on the fridge, so I guess that’s good.” Bitty told his parents after undergrad graduation, but didn’t tell them about Jack until a year later when things were settled. Sometime after that, Jack came out as bisexual to the media and stated that he was in a relationship, but denied any further comment.

And things just fell into place after that. Bitty got work right away in Boston and Jack didn’t mind the commute to Providence.

“That sounds nice,” Kent said softly. Bitty knew Kent was gay and only out to a small handful of people.

“You sound sleepy,” Bitty said, turning the volume down on the TV. It was the ending song and it was already stuck in Bitty’s head.

“Mmm can you warm the gel packs again?” Kent asked. Bitty stood up and did so. “I haven’t been able to sleep much,” he admitted. “Nothing is comfortable.”

Kent had told Bitty how the heating pad never seemed hot enough and it was too uncomfortable to sit in the shower for long periods of time.

“I don’t mind staying longer,” Bitty said placing the hot packs on Kent’s back.

“If I fall asleep, you can leave,” Kent said. “I don’t mind.”

Bitty took a seat on the couch again and tweeted about the nostalgia HSM brought. The replies started flying in of numerous people agreeing with him and asking if he ever felt like he had to stick to the status quo being a jock who baked. Bitty laughed quietly as he responded to a few people.

Kent seemed to have fallen into a heavy sleep, so Bitty heated up the gel packs once more before tucking Kent under the covers. He turned off the TV and left a written note on top of Kent’s phone telling him to call if he needed anything. Bitty decided he’d stop by tomorrow anyway though.

 

Bitty was dragged out of sleep by his ringing phone at four in the morning. Next to him, Jack shifted, looking at Bitty with sleepy eyes. Bitty’s heart thudded when the caller ID showed Kent’s name. “Kent, sweetie?” Bitty asked, scrubbing a hand over his face. All he heard were heavy sobs. “Kent, honey, are you okay?” Bitty asked sitting up a little straighter, suddenly worried.

“It hurts so much,” he sobbed. Bitty looked at the time. A nurse would have been there an hour ago to give him more medicine.

“Do you want me to come over?” Bitty asked looking at Jack, who looked worried. “I can be there soon.”

“Please,” Kent sobbed harder.

“Okay, okay, honey, I’m getting ready to go. Can Jack come too?” he asked even though Jack was already out of bed and pulling on sweats and a sweatshirt.

“Yeah,” Kent said sounding so sad it almost broke Bitty’s heart.

“Do you need me to stay on the phone? Or can I call you when we are there?”

“I can-I can hang up,” Kent hiccupped.

“Okay, honey. We will be there soon, I promise,” Bitty said, hanging up and throwing clothes on. He and Jack stumbled out of their apartment and rushed to the car. The recovery center was, luckily, a short drive away.

They didn’t speak on the ride over, but Bitty held tight to Jack’s had as Jack drove through the sleeping city. He yawned as the heat kicked on in the car, and texted Kent that they were almost there. Jack didn’t have practice in the morning, thank the lord, or Bitty would have insisted that he stay home and sleep. But from the tension in Jack, Bitty knew it was better that he was there too.

The recovery center was silent and there was a lone nurse at the information desk. Bitty signed in, and then led the way to Kent’s room. He knocked quietly as he opened the door to the dark room. Bitty turned on the light by the door, but left the main room lights off.

Kent was curled up like he was earlier. Shedding his coat, Bitty handed it to Jack before approaching Kent.

“Kenny, honey, we’re here. Are you awake?” Bitty asked quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed and picking up the cooling gel packs. “Can you go warm these up?” he said to Jack. Jack nodded, setting their coats on a chair and going to the microwave.

“Mwake,” Kent murmured into his arm. Bitty crawled onto the bed, doing his best not to jostle Kent, and put a hand against his forehead to sweep away his sweaty hair.

“Hey,” Bitty whispered. Kent’s bloodshot eyes looked up to Bitty. “I know you’re in a lot of pain, but being all tense isn’t going to help, honey.” On the short ride over, Bitty had looked into some possible pain relieving positions to try putting Kent in. There’s wasn’t much to work with though, but Bitty refused to be defeated. “How about moving to your stomach? That was okay earlier.”

Kent just stared at him, distress and pain clouding his eyes.

“Jack, sweetie, can you help me move him?” Bitty asked.

“Yeah, just show me what to do,” Jack said pushing up his sleeves.

Very slowly, they uncurled Kent and lay him out. Bitty put a pillow under Kent’s hips which seemed to relieve pressure, and the steaming hot gel packs were soon set into place. Bitty sat at the head of the bed with Kent’s head in his lap, combing his fingers through his hair, while Jack lay in the empty space next to them. Kent gripped Bitty’s thighs for dear life, but had quieted down.

“Let’s take him to the house tomorrow,” Bitty said quietly to Jack. “Our bathtub is huge and it might help.”

“Mmkay,” Jack murmured with a yawn.

“You doing okay, hun?” Bitty asked. Jack nodded, looking up at him with reassurance. With his free hand, Bitty reached out and ran his fingers through Jack’s hair. It was kind of nice being there and comforting both of them. He smiled and they both went lax under his touch, drifting off to sleep.

 

Bitty didn’t sleep much once they’d arrived. Kent drifted in and out of sleep, body tensing and going rigid as Bitty did his best to soothe him. He talked. He sang. He ran his fingers through Kent’s hair and up and down his arms.

Jack slept like a rock, to no ones surprise. He didn’t even wake when a nurse showed up with more pills for Kent.

“I want you to come to our house and take a bath,” Bitty said, yawning and trying to hide it in his arm.

“I don’t have to. I’ll be fine,” Kent murmured.

“I wasn’t giving you a choice, sweetie,” Bitty laughed lightly. “The car ride might be uncomfortable, but it’s only a short drive. We have a big bathtub too.”

“Well, you’d need a big one to fit all of Jack,” Kent mumbled. Bitty snorted.

“Kent Parson, it’s too early for jokes,” Bitty smiled.

 

At the apartment, Bitty helped Kent out of his clothes and into the tub while Jack went to get food and coffee. Bitty leaned against the side of the tub, the sound of running water lulling him to sleep.

“You can go sleep. I won’t drown, I promise,” Kent said as Bitty blinked at him.

“I’m fine. Besides it’s nice and warm in here,” Bitty said with another yawn. Kent swirled the jasmine scented water around. Bitty insisted he use a bath bomb.

“Jack said you’ve got a lot of baking to do, so you need to nap,” Kent added. Bitty grumbled that he was fine, even though he knew he definitely needed a short nap. Not even coffee could keep him awake.

Bitty heard the front door open and close.

“Come on, go Bittle. Jack’s back anyways,” Kent pushed. Bitty narrowed his sleepy eyes at him.

“Don’t try to get rid of me, Kent Parson!” Bitty said with as much force as he could manage. He saw a small smile play across Kent’s lips.

“Thanks, Bitty. I mean it,” he said softly. Bitty stood, leaning over the tub to press a gentle kiss to the top of Kent’s head.

“Anytime, sweetheart,” Bitty murmured as he traded places with Jack and went to sleep for a good, long while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm the same age as Kent and Jack, so I tried to think about what was going on when I was in high school and well, HSM was a thing.   
> Also, I'm debating on if I want it to be bitty/jack and bitty/parse or bitty/jack/parse. We will see where it goes.


	4. Chapter 4

 

Around Thanksgiving, Bitty was finally seeing some improvement with Kent’s mobility. He was able to shift back and forth between his legs on his own. As Christmas neared, Kent was able to bend his right knee, but Kent was clearly starting to shut down.

Bitty and Jack had invited Kent over for the holidays. Usually, they gathered with college friends for Thanksgiving, but this year Bitty stayed with Kent and Jack joined them when he could. They’d had a good time and Bitty had gotten Kent to call his mother. They’d spent most weekends together, mostly at home, but sometimes they went out.

Kent was shutting down though. Bitty got information from his other doctors, but he saw it in the way Kent stopped talking and eventually stopped trying. His progression halted and Bitty was afraid it would only make Kent more depressed.

Bitty spent quiet afternoons with Kent. Sometimes Bitty would talk and sometimes he wouldn’t. Kent just stared at the ceiling.

Bitty loved Christmas time. He loved the lights and the decorations. He loved the snow and ice skating down town. He loved the music. And he loved all the baking he could do. He oven was on almost every moment he was home, filling the house with wonderful aromas.

So, seeing Kent so detached and depressed while Bitty felt filled with joy was difficult. He was taking Kent to the apartment for the next five days. Bitty was on break and he didn’t want to keep driving to the recovery center. Kent had agreed, although he sounded distant.

Bitty packed Kent’s bag and bundled him up and took him home. Jack would be there on Christmas Eve.

In the apartment, Bitty settled Kent on the couch and turned on the fire place and the TV. He made them hot cocoa and then sat with Kent.

“I’m inviting your mom to come for Christmas,” Bitty said at last. Kent’s eyes went wide. “I wanted to let you know that she’s coming no matter what you say. It’s time for you to see her, sweetheart,” Bitty said. He and Jack had discussed it at length and then Jack reached out to Mrs. Parson. Jack would fly to Quebec to then fly with her to ease her anxiety.

“Bitty,” Kent choked out. Bitty shook his head.

“We are afraid, Kent. Me and Jack, we don’t know what to do. I don’t know if your mom coming will help, but honey, I don’t know what else to do. All you do is sit there and it breaks my heart,” Bitty promised himself he wouldn’t cry, but his eyes burned and there was a lump in his throat.

A few tears rolled down Kent’s cheeks and he wiped them on his sleeve. “I can’t see her like this,” he whispered with a small sob.

“She doesn’t care Kent. She just wants to see you. She won’t be mad or sad or think anything less of you, hun. You’re still just as amazing,” Bitty told him. Kent buried his face in his hands. “Honey, it’s time to see her,” he added gently. Bitty felt like it was his last hope. Kent had said a few times that he thought he might be better off dead; wished he’d died on the ice, and it sent Bitty into the bathroom panicking. He didn’t dare tell Jack exactly what Kent had said, but Jack knew Kent was not doing good.

“It’s going to be okay Kent, honey. We just want you to feel better. We want to help you heal and we, I feel so helpless sometimes,” Bitty said, voice shaking as he watched Kent cry.

“I can’t do this, Eric,” he said softly. “I don’t know who I am anymore. I can’t be who I was or who I wanted to be. All I was, was a hockey star. There’s nothing else in me. I’m nothing else,” he sobbed.

“We can figure it out together. I promise. Me and Jack, we’d do anything,” Bitty said. He wasn’t sure when it had happened. Maybe it was all the secrets and stories Kent shared when Bitty was there. But Bitty felt, he’d give his whole heart to Kent. So would Jack. They’d discussed it multiple times unsure of when the friendship became more than a friendship.

It wasn’t because they felt sorry for Kent, but rather that they wanted to make him smile. When they did, it made the whole room light up.

They’d agreed to tread lightly for numerous reasons, but Bitty wanted to know that no matter what he and Jack were there for Kent as friends or as more. Whatever Kent needed them to be.

Kent just stared at Bitty. Bitty had noticed that whenever Kent cried, his eyes turned a lovely shade of crystal blue. As if all the other color had been washed out of them.

“I don’t-“

Bitty shook his head, cutting Kent off. “I’m here to lift you up. To provide light in the dark, hun,” Bitty said quietly, getting up on his knees and leaning over Kent. He pressed his lips to a wet cheek and then the other. “Your mother is coming and I think it’ll help,” Bitty said softly. “We just want to help you Kenny.”

Kent nodded, wrapping his arms around Bitty. He held Bitty tight as a few more sobs rocked through him. Bitty stroked his hair, kissing the top of his head and letting those defiant cow licks tickle his face.

“Come on now. I’ve got a lot of baking to do, sweetheart.”

 

Over the next two days, Kent seemed to be trying to not seem as depressed. Bitty let him, but made it clear that it was okay to not be okay. Kent sat in the kitchen while Bitty cooked. He didn’t say much, often zoning out. They watched Home Alone and Home Alone 2 which Kent claimed were his favorite Christmas movies.

Bitty said his was White Christmas. Kent had never seen it, but agreed to watch it with Bitty on Christmas Eve. Along with the Jim Carey version of the Grinch which was Jack’s favorite.

Kent took a nap while Bitty watched Jack’s game. He kept the volume low, hoping Kent wasn’t listening from the spare room.

Christmas Eve day though, Kent spent most of it in bed saying nothing. Bitty would check on him occasionally, and was eventually able to get him to eat some lunch. Jack and Kent’s mother would be getting in late and Bitty could tell Kent was anxiously counting down the minutes.

 

They were sitting on the couch with hot chocolate when the front door opened. With a glance at Kent, Bitty went to great Jack and Mrs. Parson.

“Honey!” Bitty said happily throwing himself into Jack’s arms. Jack squeezed him tight, kissing him softly. Bitty grinned, stepping out of Jack’s arms to greet their guest.

Mrs. Parson had hung her coat and was lining up her shoes before she turned to Bitty. She was short, dressed in business attire, with short blonde hair pulled back. She looked tired, but younger than Bitty expected. She also looked a lot like Kent.

“I am Morgan Parson. Thank you for welcoming me into your home,” she said in French, holding her hand out to Bitty.

“I’m Eric Bittle, ma’am,” Bitty said shaking her hand. She seemed reserved, eyes sweeping over the apartment, but her voice was gentle. She wasn’t what Bitty had pictured.

Jack spoke in rapid French while picking up her bag. She nodded and headed to the living room. Bitty watched her go, listened to her whisper to Kent, and then followed Jack to the bedrooms.

 

“She isn’t what I expected,” Bitty said. He and Jack were in bed to give the others some privacy.

“She can be hard to live with, but she is very polite, especially to those who are friends of her children,” Jack said. “Kent would often sleep over at my house just to catch a break. But even he has said she has come a long way. She used to be very hostile at things like parent teacher conferences and didn’t make eye contact. Stuff like that.”

“Mmm yeah Kent talked about that. How was she on the flight?”

“She was okay. She took something that helped and I made sure to only talk about astronomy to help her stay distracted.”

Bitty smiled. He nestled into Jack’s chest and asked him about the game. “We play the Aces soon,” Jack said quietly. Bitty knew this. “A few of the guys have reached out to me about Kent since he doesn’t say much to them. I have told them a bit, but nothing Kent doesn’t want me to say.”

It was going to be an away game, but Bitty had kind of wished it wasn’t so that some of the guys could see Kent. He talked about how he was afraid to see them and how he didn’t want them to pity him. He wanted them to remember him as he was, not how he was currently.

“I know it’s late, but can we stay up watching movies?” Jack asked kissing the top of Bitty’s head.

“Are you going to fall asleep halfway through?” Bitty asked looking up at Jack. Jack gave him a small smile.

“Absolutely,” he told Bitty.

 

Christmas morning. Bitty got up early to get breakfast going and was surprised to see Mrs. Parson sitting at the island with her lap top open.

“Do you want coffee or tea?” Bitty asked in French. He’d been going over the basics in anticipation of Mrs. Parson visiting, but as always, he was sure he was doing a poor job.

“Coffee,” she said and Bitty nodded turning on the coffee pot. He started taking out supplies for crepes. A request from Kent. “Thank you for… making him see me,” she said in English, startling Bitty.

“Oh, you’re welcome. I hope everything went okay last night.”

She nodded. “He is very sad and very hurting,” she continued in English. “But you and Jack are good friends with him. He needs strong people right now.”

Bitty passed her a cup of coffee. “I tell him there is always something next. Hockey was everything, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something next. He will find something. He will heal.” With that, she went back to her laptop and Bitty moved breakfast along until the smell brought both Jack and Kent out of their rooms.

Kent looked like hell, eyes red and bloodshot, but he was out of his room and that was all Bitty could really ask for.

Jack bee-lined for the coffee, stopping to kiss Bitty briefly and steal a piece of banana. Bitty laughed, taking the food to the dining room table where he’d already put the nice plates and silverware.

Bitty and Jack did most of the talking during breakfast, and while Jack cleaned up, Bitty called his parents to wish them a Merry Christmas. They were still disappointed he hadn’t come home, and once again, Bitty explained that they needed to be there for Kent.

They exchanged presents. Kent spent a lot of the morning curled up against his mother, but laughed at the pizza underwear Bitty and Jack gave him.

“Now Kent, sweetheart, me and Jack also got you something else that we think you need,” Bitty said as Jack went to answer the front door.

“Should I be concerned?” he asked with a smile. Bitty just grinned as Jack entered with a white box in hand. There was a large red bow on it and holes around the top. Kent gave Bitty a confused look.

“Just open it,” Jack said setting the box on Kent’s lap. Bitty turned on his camera to film. As he opened the box, Kent’s eyes grew wide and he started crying when he pulled out a tiny gray kitten with a red bow around its neck.

“It’s so tiny,” Kent sobbed kissing the kitten gently on the head. It mewed happily as Kent stroked it. “Bitty are you filming this?!” he cried, nuzzling the kitten against his face.

“Yeah and I’m gonna call it Parse ugly cries over adorable kitten,” Bitty said feeling a rush of joy as he watched Kent hold the kitten close. Bitty smiled at Jack. They’d made a good choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!   
> And the consensus seems to be Jack/Bitty/Parse so look forward to some good ol' OT3!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bad day, so I wrote some sad stuff. 
> 
> ***Warning for self harm/maybe slightly graphic self harm.***

Kent’s mom was gone by New Years. Bitty wished that her leaving had been Kent’s trigger because he could bring her back. But Bitty knew deep down it wasn’t really anything they could stop. It was just Kent. And they could offer him every kind of help imaginable, but sometimes it wasn’t enough.

Sometimes the person just wanted to jump off the deep end.

It started in the afternoon, Bitty caught Kent watching Aces highlights from their previous game. They were doing good. Bitty had heard the commentators wondering if it was because they had a new captain. Maybe Kent leaving had been good for the Aces.

Bitty knew it wasn’t true. They’d made it to playoffs most of the years Kent was captain and had won three times. They were good with him.

But that wasn’t what Kent heard. Bitty took his phone as he began to meltdown. There was nothing left in the guest room to break though except himself. Bitty had gone to the living room to get Kit, holding her until Kent lay crying on the bed. Bitty forced the tiny fluff into Kent’s hands, running his own hand through Kent’s hair.

“You’re amazing,” Bitty whispered, trying to hold himself together as he pressed his face against Kent’s hair. “You’re so amazing and you’ll always be so amazing. I know it hurts. I know it hurts more than I can understand. But you’re so strong and you’re so amazing,” Bitty whispered unsure if he was telling Kent for Kent or for himself.

Kent curled up, moving away from Bitty. “I just want to die,” he sobbed. “I can’t.”

“Then maybe we need… maybe we need to go back to the hospital,” Bitty said softly. “So, they can help you.”

“So, they can turn me into a zombie!” Kent screamed. Bitty sighed, climbing up on the bed. He lay against Kent’s back, careful not to touch where it hurt, and rested his forehead against his shoulder.

“They won’t. I won’t let them.”

“I can’t. I can’t let them drug me,” Kent whispered.

“I can’t let you die either,” Bitty said and there was silence. Without workouts and his athlete diet, Kent had gotten thin. Bitty made him meals and he ate, but he looked like a husk. A broken and forgotten shell. He saw his therapist four times a week, but Bitty knew he wasn’t talking to her.

He’d stopped looking at Jack too. Jack was doing his best not to take it too hard.

Kent stopped being able to bend his knee and didn’t put much effort into physical therapy. Bitty did as much as he could, but Kent was a wall.

Kent eventually fell asleep, so Bitty left to start dinner. Jack would be home soon and they were planning on having a quiet New Year’s Eve at home. Bitty wasn’t sure if Kent would join them or not.

 

When dinner was ready, Bitty went to get Kent. His bed was empty, but the bathroom door was open and the light was on.

“Kent come on, dinner’s ready,” Bitty called, going to the doorway and stopping dead.

Kent looked up at him, startled and immediately ashamed. He started crying, letting the razor clatter to the floor.

He’d made a mess of his left thigh. Bitty couldn’t look away from the blood welling up and dripping down to the floor.

“Kent,” Bitty finally pushed out. He was shaking, trying to process what he was looking at. He tore his eyes away to Kent’s face. He had his head buried in bloody hands.

Bitty moved without thinking too hard. He pulled the hand towel off the rack and pressed it against Kent’s thigh. “We’re… we’re gonna go to the hospital, sweetheart. And they’re… they’ll make all the pain stop. All the hurt stop,” Bitty whispered, tears dropping onto the back of his hands. “They’ll make you safe and they’ll help you feel better, so you don’t have to feel this anymore. Okay, hun?” he looked at Kent, face still in his hands.

Bitty got up and got another towel. He got it wet and then took Kent’s hands, wiping them clean and then cleaning off his face.

“Shhh,” Bitty hummed. “Shhhh, it’s gonna be okay,” he said unsure if he believed his words. He got gauze from the hall closet and taped Kent up the best he could. Some of the cuts were deep.

He bundled Kent up and took him out to the car. Bitty texted Jack and told him to meet them at the hospital.

At the hospital, Bitty did the talking and explained Kent’s situation. He helped Kent fill out paper work and called his therapist. As they got everything situated, Bitty could tell Kent was getting more and more anxious. The doctor’s talked about medication and Kent went nearly white.

It took another two hours for Bitty to convince the doctors not to give him anything unless absolutely necessary. None of his cuts needed stitches and Kent seemed calmer when the doctor agreed with Bitty not to force medicate him.

His therapist was coming in to take over, but Bitty sat with Kent. He refused to let go of Bitty’s hand until necessary.

Bitty ran his thumb over Kent’s knuckles. “I want you to be able to come stay with us again, but that means you have to try sweetheart,” Bitty said softly. Kent turned away from him. “I know they can’t make everything perfect or even better, but they can help you work on ways to take the pain away from your heart,” Bitty said hating that it felt like his words were falling flat. He didn’t know what Kent needed to hear or what Kent wanted him to say. But he always told Bitty he liked it when Bitty talked. Kent said he didn’t like the silence; it was too big and deafening. There were too many people who already didn’t know what to say to Kent, so they said nothing.

“If you don’t do it for me, and if you don’t do it for you, then maybe try doing it for Kit? Start little, with little things. Tomorrow might seem like too much, but I’ve got that double fudge cake in the fridge.” Kent still said nothing, but held Bitty’s hand tighter. Bitty noticed the therapist at the door. “I have to go now,” he said quietly. “But I’ll be here every day until you can come back to the apartment. Please tell them if your back or your hips hurt,” Bitty added. He paused when he finished, realizing there was so much more he wanted to say to Kent.

Instead he leaned over and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. He lingered for a moment, Kent squeezing his hand again, before pulling away and getting his jacket.

“You’ll always be amazing Kent Parson,” Bitty said, trying his best to smile. Kent looked at him with crystal blue eyes all red from crying. He didn’t smile, but Bitty swear he saw it in his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter feels a bit rushed, but I hope everyone still likes it! I kind of wanted to move it along to more happier times. Kinda. Enjoy!

Kent was released almost a month later. His stay would have been shorter if he hadn’t put up such a fight against anti-depressants. But it was Jack who finally talked him into trying.

“We’ll be right here to help,” Bitty assured as they left the hospital. “Well, I will,” he laughed lightly. “And Jack when he’s home.”

Kent didn’t say anything, just nodded as Bitty helped him into the car. His stay had unfortunately stagnated his progression and his pain had gotten worse. He wasn’t ready to return to physical therapy and while Bitty couldn’t force him to go, he told Parse that he better be ready to work out with Bitty anyway.

Kent didn’t say anything until they were in the apartment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as Bitty hung up their coats. Bitty looked at him.

“Mr. Parson we’ve discussed this,” Bitty teased. He took Kent’s hat off and combed his fingers through his soft hair. “I know you are, sweetheart,” Bitty murmured pressing his face into Kent’s hair. Kent reached up, taking Bitty’s wrist.

Bitty sighed. He didn’t know how to put it all in words. How he could love Jack so much and still have room to fall in love with Kent to.

Jack understood. They’d talked about it at length, but neither of them knew what Kent would think.

“I just don’t want him to think it’s pity or something,” Bitty had sighed. Jack had pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I know,” Jack had said hugging Bitty. “But no matter what you say he’ll accuse you of pity first. It’s just the way Kent is. Afraid of feelings.”

Bitty had sighed, still unsure of how to breach the subject.

He’d hoped to have it figured out by the time Kent came home, but he hadn’t.

“I’ll go find Kit,” Bitty said heading to the living room. He was feeling flustered all of the sudden. “I’m sure she missed you.”

“Bitty,” Kent mumbled.

“I made dinner already, in preparation,” Bitty said returning with the cat. “Do you want to eat at the table or in the living room?” he asked, setting the cat in Kent’s lap. Bitty scratched her ears for a moment. He’d never had a real pet before, but had grown to enjoy having Kit to curl up when Jack was far away.

And Kent too.

“Oh dinner,” Bitty said heading off to the kitchen. He pulled Tupperware out of the fridge and turned on the oven. “Most of it’s ready to go. Just needs a bit of warming up!” Bitty called. “Where were we eating?”

“The table is fine,” Kent said. Bitty listened to him wheel towards the dining room.

Looking at the food on the table, Bitty might have over prepared a bit, but he wanted Kent to have choices. He was still thin and his skin was pale from being indoors. Eric was used to preparing meals for Jack and other elite athletes. Even if Kent didn’t need that anymore, Bitty still wanted to encourage him.

He sat next to Kent and began serving himself. “Now that the holidays are over, the pie requests have slowed, but I was up to my elbows in flour for weeks! Our house was a complete mess,” Bitty told Kent knowing if he started rambling Kent would eventually start talking.

That’s how it’d been when Bitty and Jack had visited him in the hospital. Kent would sit there while Bitty talked about the tiny things until he finally felt like speaking. Kent mostly talked about when he was little, avoiding talking about his time in the NHL which was understandable.

The stories started small, just comments about his childhood or something he happened to remember. Eventually they talked movies and books and music. Kent admitted he hadn’t seen many movies, but read a lot of books. He wanted to own a ton of bookcases full of books.

Bitty told him about his love for Beyonce and Kent had smiled. He knew Jack preferred music without lyrics and enjoyed cello pieces. Then he told them he mostly listened to shit he’d listened to in high school because he didn’t pay attention to the top charts anymore.

Jack told Bitty about Kent’s emo phase and his love for My Chemical Romance. Kent turned red and defensive and Bitty thought it was so adorable he was afraid his heart would burst.

“All Spotify does is recommend me music from high school too, so I can’t avoid it,” Kent said crossing his arms. “Besides, the Black Parade is a classic,” he sniffed, looking down his nose at Jack.

“Kenny wanted to have that emo hair, but always had those random pieces that stuck up in the front. Can I tell him that one secret?” Jack asked Kent.

“Which one?” Kent asked narrowing his eyes. Jack leaned over and whispered in his ear. After a moment, Kent sighed and said, “Fine.”

Jack smiled at Bitty. “When we were alone he’d wear eyeliner and then put it on me. He always said it made me prettier.”

“That’s cute,” Bitty said with a large grin. “I haven’t worn eyeliner since my ice skating days,” he added.

“It was just a few times,” Kent muttered. Bitty reached over and squeezed his hand.

“Your secret is safe with me hun,” Bitty said with a small smile. Kent gave him a small smile back even though his cheeks were still slightly pink.

Seeing Kent liven up was a huge weight off Bitty’s chest. That there were moments of sun in all the dark and cloudy in Kent was a relief. There were a lot of obstacles coming up, Bitty knew that without Kent telling him. But Kent had decided that his next step would be talking to his friends on the Aces more.

Bitty knew he’d texted them a bit since arriving in Boston, but he knew it was mostly dismissive or brief.

“The food is good as always,” Kent said quietly. Bitty smiled at him.

“I’m glad you’re back here,” Bitty told him. Kent looked at him.

“Can I tell you something, Eric?” he asked even quieter.

“Of course, anything Kenny,” Bitty said setting his fork down to give Kent his full attention.

“I… I…” Kent paused looking down. He took a deep breath. “I think I accidentally… all of our late night talking… and this and you visiting and being so kind and caring and all of it and I... I think I have a crush on you,” he whispered. Bitty smiled, liking the way Kent’s cheeks flushed. “So I don’t think I can stay here because you have Jack and I know you wouldn’t leave him. I’m just a… a patient.”

“Kent you’re a friend,” Bitty said taking his hand. “You’ve always been a friend and I’d hate for you to go because I’ve accidentally gone and gotten a crush on you too,” Bitty laughed. Kent stared at him, wide eye.

“You what?”

“I like you Kent Parson. A lot,” Bitty said. He couldn’t wait to tell Jack.

“Are you sure you don’t just pity me?” Kent asked. Bitty sighed.

“Jack said you’d say that,” he said making Kent scowl. Bitty shook his head. “But no, I like you for the person you are. I care a lot about you and I wasn’t sure how I was ever going to bring up that I want to be with Jack and you at the same time.”

“Both of us?” Kent asked.

“Yes both of you. That means you Kent Parson,” Bitty said with a grin. Kent just stared. “I know you’re going through a lot, but I want to be there for you through it as more than your doctor and as more than your friend. Is that okay?”

Kent nodded slowly.

“People don’t like me,” he said and Bitty shrugged.

“I like you and Jack likes you, so I think that for right now that’s all that matters. Okay, sweetheart?”

Kent nodded again. “So, then Bitty?”

“Hmm?” he asked.

“Can we cuddle on the couch after dinner and you rub my back?” Kent asked, looking at the floor. Bitty smiled as the tops of Kent’s ears turned pink.

“Of course hun, I’d like that a lot.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Talk to me on [tumblr](http://lexatargaryen.tumblr.com/)


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